Cath Lab Digest

On Kalendae, the first day of the month, debts were due in ancient Rome. Accounting books were called calendarium from which we derive the word “calendar.” In Roman tradition, financial institutions today send calendars to their clients. I paged through one of the dozen or so 2010 calendars I received this year. How many wound care meetings could I possibly attend? It is difficult to leave a busy practice for even a short time. Hospitals are cutting travel budgets. This begs the question: Do we need eight to ten wound care meetings per year in addition to the Olympian World Union every fourth year? I am not sure how I am going to find the time to attend a fraction of the symposia this year.

The truth is that in the years to come the strongest events will survive via Darwinian natural selection. However, believe it or not, there may be one meeting missing. One could not possibly walk through an exhibit hall or open a journal without noticing the proliferation of devices designed apply suction to acute and chronic wounds. I have concluded that there is a need for suction symposium. However I suggest a far different format or should I say Forum. There will be no exhibit hall with endless pumps sucking on plastic butts. No poster presentations with another thousand case studies on how well NPWT works in combination with every other dressing on Earth. This truly academic affair will be held coliseum style.

The various devices will fight to the death in gladiatorial fashion until the victor is crowned “succus maximus.” The collected AAWC and WHS board members adorned in togas and olive branches will sit in judgment of the event (The general attendees will also be in toga dress, but they will have fewer stickers on their badges). A defeated device is given thumbs down and hanged by its tubing until all alarms fall silent. The fortunate pumps to receive thumbs up are allowed to crawl off the stage vanquished to provide a low cost option to the superior manufacturer. The victor will reign until the next year when a new crop of manufacturers rises from the ashes to challenge the billion-dollar market share.